What Has To Be Done

Today, I start chemo again.

My insurance finally approved the cancer regimen I had for frontline chemo, and right now I am kicked back receiving pre- meds prior to starting carbo/taxol.

The pre-meds they give seem to make me cold. When I arrived, this room seemed to be the perfect temperature. An hour later, I've pulled out my blanket because I'm freezing. It's the meds - they're room temperature and it chills us.

The massive dose of Benedryl I was given is making me seriously sleepy. If I stop sounding coherent that's why.  They have just started the Taxol, which most likely will take 3 hours.  Since it has been so long since my last treatment, I'm supposed to pay attention to make sure I don't have a reaction to it. It's rare but it happens. I just had a hot flash and had to remind myself that those are normal.

I brought my Kindle, my phone and a book to occupy myself. But I have a feeling that I'm going to be asleep. Maybe not too long because I just started Shadow of the Hegemon and I really want to get it read.


Yup. I fell asleep for an hour and a half. I'm trying to wake up enough so when it's time to head home I can drive my car home instead of leaving it at my best friend's house overnight. no reaction which is a good think. 10 days from now my hair will start falling out again. I keep reminding myself to get a picture of my cute sassy do before it's gone.

Next up will be the carboplatin, which is what we're hoping I'm not resistant to. That will only take 30 minutes or so. I'm getting 80% of a normal dose in hopes it won't do such a number on my bone marrow.

So many have sent me support via Facebook today. To be honest, I'm always surprised and a bit humbled by what I read there. I understand in a way. Before I got sick, I never thought I'd handle it well. I hoped I would, but you never really know.  Once it happened, I just did what I had to do. And I just keep doing it. It's not anything special.  It's just doing what has to be done. Trust me - if it were you, you'd do the same. I discovered a long time ago that we're stronger than we think. I assure you - YOU are stronger than you think.  When the tough times come most of us just get 'er done.

We just started the carbo and I'm on the home stretch. I'll be home in an hour or so, and hoping that the nausea is being held off by both the pre-meds and the Zofran I'll be taking 3 times a day. I'm increasing my stool softener for the next few days so I don't get "bound up" as my grandmother used to say. It's the side effect of the pre-meds that no one talks about. The last thing I need is something turning into a partial bowel obstruction. TMI - I know. But I had to find out the hard way. I don't want that for anyone else.

So far, it's been pretty easy. It's so different than the first chemo of frontline treatment. Then I was in the hospital, after discovering I had blood clots in both lungs. This time comparatively speaking, is easy peasy.  I'm so much stronger. And just as determined to beat this crap.

Because that's what has to be done.