We've had rain out here in Hicksville lately. Wonderful glorious rain. Our fields are a pretty green color you can only get from weeds. Ah well - so far, the cow seems happy with them.
Speaking of our cow - we used to call her Steak. Because we're warped. But now the hubs sent her off to get knocked up, and we're pretty sure she obliged, so she needs a new name. I've considered Lactation, but only if you say it with a slow southern drawl. Go ahead. Try it. Makes ya feel a little like Scarlett, doesn't it?
I say pretty sure, because we don't know how to tell if she is really knocked up or not. I googled how to figure that out a minute ago and I would like to say oh HELL NO. I'm not stickin' my arm up any cow's booty. [shudder] Just the thought wigs me out. So I guess we'll just wait and see. She's getting mighty rotund and spends alot of time laying around waiting for someone to feed her fresh green stuff or cow bon bons or something. Maybe we'll have a cute little calf to get entirely too attached to so it'll never be sent to processor after all.
We still don't have any baby chicks. A few hatched, but none of them lived very long because apparently Java's are crappy mama hens. Now I have four more hens setting, but they haven't had a rooster on that half of the coop for weeks, so they're pretty much wasting their time. I'm going to have to get some eggs that might actually produce chicks and move them over there. Otherwise those poor hens are going to start doubting their ability to hatch chicks, and the last thing I need are neurotic hens.
My garden has been loving the rain we've had lately. The green beans have tiny little beans growing, and I actually found potatoes under some of the volunteer potato plants. I've found some green tomatoes. My onions seemed to have all died out. I'm not sure why - they were getting watered, and we had mulched them in, but I can't find any of them now. So they either died, or the evil bunnies that inhabit our land snuck in and ate them all. Bastards. Unfortunately, the weeds and native grasses have enjoyed the rain as well. I've spent the last couple of weekends pulling weeds and grass and mulching.
We don't have but a few weeks left of summer - and it makes me sad. Just when I start feeling like myself again - waking up to have my breakfast on the back porch, then spending a few hours in the garden. Sometimes I almost forget what I had been doing over the last nine months. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking it was a bad dream - or that it happened to someone else.
Then I bend over to pull a stray weed out of the lawn, and the fluid around my left lung follows gravity and ow. Or my incisional hernia feels like my intestines are about to pop out. Then I remember that I'm not the same person I was a year ago. Now I'm a cancer survivor. Now I have limits to what I can do.
It's better than the alternative. I'm alive. And I'm living my life. Spending time with my husband, and my kids when they have nothing better to do. Someday I hope it won't hurt when I bend over to pull those weeds. I won't have to have a cart to sit on as I roll around the garden and pull grass. I won't have to hold my hand over my hernia when I sneeze because I have a fear that my intestines are going to shoot out across the living room. (No - I have no idea what hyperbole means. Why do you ask?)
Another friend of mine will be laying her mother to rest tomorrow. I never met her mom, but she sounded like a wonderful lady. Skin cancer took her. I don't know why I went into remission and she didn't. I hate that my friend lost her mama. Yet I'm glad my boys didn't lose theirs. I'm glad I can call myself a survivor. I wish her mama could have too.
Things are good right now out in Hicksville. We're going to try to enjoy the last few weeks of summer. I hope you do the same. Live deliberately. Embrace each moment. I'm determined to do that myself, and to not let myself get caught up in the daily grind again. Now I know all too well - you just never know how much longer you have. And like they say - no one says "I wish I had worked more."
I'm pretty sure no one says "I wish I had stuck my arm up a cow's booty when I had the chance" either.